Tick tock. I’m sitting here waiting right now. My gut hurts and I’ll admit I’m pretty nervous. I want this so bad right now. But you shouldn’t be nervous. You really were made for this. You’ve grown up with it. Growing with you and teaching you. Don’t be nervous. You should be more confident, don’t be a jerk about it, but you are really ready for this. You’ll do great. You’ll do fine. Heck, you’ll even go up and get another go. This is your shot. There is no chance of blowing it. Why? Because you are ready for this. Just relax, take in the experience and enjoy the ride. You’ll be great Aaron. I trust in you.
But for some reason, every time you stop, it creeps up again. No problem. Just keep on writing. You know….it’s funny. Out of everything I’ve done in my life, I haven’t failed once. I always pull through, and even if it’s by the skin of my teeth, I get through it. I always worry about failing, and while that’s worked for me till now, maybe I should focus on succeeding. Keep my vision forward instead of looking two steps back while taking one step forward. I’ve been conservative. Admit it Aaron, you are better than you think you are. Not to sound like a jerk, but don’t humble yourself too much. You are taking advantage of yourself. You got what it takes, you’ll do fine. And what if you don’t? It’s funny because I can’t even think of that. I want this. I was made for this. I can do this. My gut still hurts. It’s not because I’m nervous. It’s because I have to use the restroom. Hurry the hell up and just do it. I got to use the restroom. I could risk it and go now, but what if it happens? Sometimes you got to sacrifice for the good stuff I guess. I just reread this and realized I sound like a bit of a lunatic. I’m not, just in case you are wondering. Go ahead and try writing down whatever you are thinking, I guarantee you it’ll come out something like this. Or more demented.
Thirty minutes since I’ve last done it. And nothing. It’s kind of nice though. Remember that feeling before a track meet, during the track meet, before the race, during the race? It’s funny because I would give anything for that feeling now, but at the time, I’d give anything for it to go away. Some people say butterflies. I felt more like my stomach was taking me for a ride. Speaking of track, I forgot what a starting block was called yesterday. How sad is that? I called it a brick. A starting brick. I’m getting old. I’m starting to name things whatever the hell I think they are. Good job Aaron. You’ve become senile.
I have myself locked away in a room right now waiting for this thing to happen. I hear the hallow sounds of voices coming from downstairs and the loudest damn fan I’ve heard on any laptop yet. It is really nice writing down whatever the hell you want. I should really do it more often but I’m always lazy. Why am I doing it now? It calms me down, keeps me from being the big n. It seems like a nice therapy of sorts. Maybe I should do it more often. Then again, I don’t need therapy or things to calm me down that often. Maybe it is because I’m always at home doing nothing. Go out more Aaron. You are. Don’t you remember all last week? Plus, all your shit is packed and ready to go. I keep on waiting to go, but it’s like something is blocking me. Just let me move already. Oh right, this thing is blocking you. Remember? Right. Like I said though, you’ll do fine. I almost put “We’ll do fine”. That would have been crazy ridiculous. You would have said we, and mean us, which meant I have two people in my head. The fact is, there is one, and I don’t understand why I keep on switching from my voice to another. Oh well. Deal with it. You are the ones reading this. I don’t have to pee anymore.
This is much more interesting to read in a blog isn’t it? Too bad you won’t see that many though. I don’t do this often. Again. Deal with it. But…you might not visit my blog then. Maybe I should deal with it. Meh, that requires work and work is something I’m saving for. LIKE WHEN THIS THING HAPPENS. It’s 45 minutes and it hasn’t happened yet. Wow, I just yelled, it looks pretty awkward in conjunction with the other text. Did I use that word correctly? I think so. I hope so. It seems like it right? Why am I asking you, you can’t answer, all you can do it read this blog. Who cares, its right in my book. But Aaron, english majors and everyone on gamefaqs cares. I don’t.
Tick tock.
